When A Girl Asks To Give Her Space, Give Her The Effin’ Space

I am not the most personable girl in the world, not even in my town. Ask my neighbors if they know me and most of them would prolly reply, "Who's that girl?"

There’s not a chance in this lifetime that I’ll ever win a Ms. Congeniality award.  I don’t indulge myself in chatting or texting simply because I’m not really fond of them.  I can be all by myself -- regress in my own world -- and be happy about it.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t socialize, because I do.  It’s just that, I can never say “I’m your friendly neighborhood, Spider-Girl.”

As what I’ve mentioned few sentences back, I’m not the biggest fan of chat or texting.  I was busy watching Animes when everyone else was into mIRC.  When texting became a fad, Counter-Strike was there to keep me company.  While a lot of clans are forming here and there, EBs became such an ‘in thang’, and Nokia was the hot commodity back then – I really cared less so long as I can shoot some heads with my AWP or Carbine (in-game of course. :3).

Having said all those, you must’ve already developed a sense that I am more in love with my hobbies than socializing in general.  Good guess!  I’m not saying I can’t be friendly or that I am a complete snob because I can be a good friend but not everybody’s friend.  It’s something that I can never keep up with; I simply can’t sustain that amount of energy needed to be friends with everyone.

And since I am into gaming – though not a hardcore gamer – there will always be people who would like to make friends with me especially when they find out I’m a girl.  And gaining online friends isn’t exactly a bad thing; you meet different people from different ages, groups, ethnicity, and whathaveyou.  Thanks to MMORPGs and online Forums, I became more sociable towards the online community.  But please don’t expect a 180 degree turn from me, maybe just 45 degrees or even less (lol).

So ‘nuff with the long introduction (say what now?!) and let’s move on to the real point of this blog entry…

There was this guy from India whom I met while playing Defense of the Ancient 2 (DOTA2).  Maybe we played once then he heard I’m a girl and added me to his friendlist which isn’t exactly new to me.  A huge portion of my friendlist is people I don’t even know and just added me on the fly, specifically after they hear me talk over the mic.  Now, going back to that guy from India, I wasn’t able to capture our entire conversation but at least I got this:

The thing is, he messaged me yesterday and I failed to reply because I was in-game.  He mentioned I hurt his feelings by not replying even if I was done playing.  I was ready to apologize about hurting his feelings but he’s just making a big deal about this.  He made a point that I was obliged to reply to him because I’m his ‘friend’.  And even if I said I was busy now (Yeah, I’m reading stuff about The Hunger Games and I don’t like being bothered when I’m reading. Get over it. Lol), he still kept on bugging me.  I even frankly told him to give me some space, I don’t want to talk to you, you’re annoying, etc.; to which, all my pleas have fallen in deaf ears.  Even if I stopped replying altogether, he would still press on his issues with me not replying.  He even specifically said that he ‘expects’ me to reply when he messages me.  Just wow.

There are just three things I want to say:

1.    Man up!  You’re too sensitive and overly dramatic for your own good.  Not cool, man.  Not cool.

2.    I get it, I hurt your feelings but duuuuuude~, don’t try and force me to change for you, we’re not that close.  And even if we are, you got to accept me for who I am which includes (my number three);

3.    If I ask you to give me some space (meaning I don’t want to talk to you because you’re either annoying or I’m not in the mood), then give me my goddamn effin’ space.

Note: I tried dumbing down my words as much as I can for the benefit of others who are either intellectually lightweight or may have difficulty in English.  And I’m sorry for being mean, I’m just pissed. 

XoXo

A Breath of Fresh Air (Card of the Day)

Hey there~

I've decided that I'll try my best to post my "Card of the Day" as much as I can.  So here is the card the I picked today using my Oracle of the Shapeshifters deck~

I picked the Dragonling Garden card.

The card talks about acceptance and change of perspective hence, the message "A new world is here."

In order to experience a breath of fresh air, one must start seeing things in a different light.  If not, then one shall remain a prisoner of his/her own stagnant notions, unable to liberate oneself from the stagnancy of his/her own negative thoughts.

So break free, unshackle the chain that binds you, be more adaptable to changes, challenge your mind to be supple.

Because only by then you shall see the new world that awaits you.

One Down on my Wishlist... soon :P

The very moment I laid eyes on Lucy Cavendish’s new oracle deck, I knew I gotta have it.  I knew at that very moment that it has to be part of my wishlist.  I just couldn’t resist Jasmine Becket-Griffith’s enigmatic artwork.  Even though I’m excited to see what’s inside this box of Oracle of the Shapeshifters, I didn’t dare to research on the contents yet because I want it to be a surprise when I finally buy it this Sunday.  And no, I just can’t wait until there’s someone to fulfill this wish. I’m gonna have this baby in no time.  :)

The New Disney Princesses

I know this is completely off-topic, but I ABSOLUTELY HAVE GOT TO POST THIS!

Yes!  Disney released an all-new and *eherm* sparkly look of their Disney Princesses this year.  Let's take a look.

From left to right: we have Snow White, Mulan, Princess Aurora (aka Sleeping Beauty), Belle (from Beauty and the Beast), Tiana (from The Princess and the Frog), Rapunzel (from Tangled), Ariel (of Little Mermaid), Cinderella, Jasmine (of movie Aladdin), and Pocahontas. *whew*

It's not like they've made a total do-over, just minor revisions here and there. What struck me the most -- and for sure you ain't gonna miss it too -- are the shiny ensembles which almost blinded me. :P

Belle truly upholds her name of being such a regal beauty. I appreciate Disney for making her more stunning and drop-dead gorgeous. The improvements in Ariel's and Jasmine's outfits are impressive as well, I'd say I like their new looks better, too. On the other hand, I feel a bit disappointed on Mulan (who's my second fave DP by the way). Disney could've done better improvements on her (*sobs*). Nothing much to change on Tiana and Rapunzel -- understandably so -- as the new additions in our list of DPs. And thank God for Pocahontas' tamed guise. Scintillated outfit is unsuitable for a Powhatan Indian princess after all. Instead, her native dress is embellished with rhinestones and feathers that matched her necklace and earrings. You can also see noticeable changes in Cinderella and Princess Aurora. Glad to see Disney have updated their looks, especially their hairstyles, to fit this era's taste. Too bad I can't say the same for Snow White, though they've finally replaced that ridiculous old red headband where its ribbon is right on the center. 

Overall, the changes weren't so bad. But being a child of the 90's, there's that part of me that wished they'd just stay the same. They are, Disney classics after all.

Few Reminders...

Have I mentioned that I am no paranormal? Should have I left this one little detail behind, I honestly can't remember.  But yes, I am not a psychic nor am I a paranormal.  I don't see ghosts, I can't see the future, nor could I even travel the distant past.

Yet here I am, exploring the depths of esoteric.  Something that can't be seen by the naked eye magnetizes the altitudes of my curiosity.  I may not be one of them special beings, but there's just something about it that piques my interests quite deep.  Hence, I bought my oracle deck, The Oracle of Shadows and Light.

For those of you who follow me, you may have read about My First Reading.  I admit, I was excited to share my experiences as a greenhorn in the field (hence, the post).  But I'd like to induce a little of organization in this little realm of mine.  That's why I'd like to start with the basics and discuss some few important things before or when you're conducting a reading.

1. When consulting an oracle deck, remember that you're entering an oracular space.  In this sacred space, there is no past, present, or future --  there's only but pure energy that can be rewoven in the oracular moment.

2. Where is this sacred place you ask? You may create one.  Escape from realism by temporarily forgetting about all things material.  For instance, get away from the internet, keep your phone away, turn off the television, etc.

3. It would help if you can light up a candle.  Be also mindful about candle colors, choose the one that suits your intention.  I'll talk more about candle colors in a separate post.

4. Before you even begin shuffling the cards, close your eyes first and take three deep breaths.  Relax your body and calm your mind.

5. My oracle deck is quite of a social deck.  The more you interact with it, the more it's gonna trust you.  Therefore, it's very essential that you build a strong relationship with your deck.  You may take your deck anywhere you go, sleep beside it, or talk to it from time to time.  Sounds sissy?  Perhaps.  But I do that, and I felt more bonded with my cards.

6. Avoid being too hungry as card reading takes a lot of energy.

7. Take time in interpreting your readings.  Write them down in a journal to discover some helpful patterns.

Above all the things I mentioned, the most important advice I could give is that you weave your own fate. There is nobody else accounted for your own life but yourself.  The strands of your life ultimately depends on how you weave or reweave them.

Can Card Reading Drain Your Energy?

Yes, card reading can drain your energy regardless if you’re new to the practice or not.  Sometimes, it even causes headache.  It’s also worth to take note that the amount of energy drained from you is dependent on how serious your reading is.  The more serious and specific your reading is, the more energy will be taken away from you.

That’s why when you’re conducting a reading, there needs to be an exchange of energy.  Personally, I don’t bill my clients because I don’t feel comfortable being paid.  If it’s a light reading, I normally do it for free.  But if I’m using a more complex spread, I ask my clients to give me something they personally own or they have in their bags or purse, even a candy would do. :)  Of course it doesn’t fully revitalize you but it helps restore some of your energy.

This is something I've learned from watching xxxHolic which is both a manga and an anime series.  It's actually a good anime to watch if you're into divination.  I'd be lying if I say that series hadn't stimulated my interest in exploring the obscure and unknown.

On a side note, you're not supposed to pronounce the "xxx" in the title "xxxHolic" hence, you'd only pronounce it as "Holic". Just a small trivia. ;)

LiveJournal

I've recently signed up for a LiveJournal account.  If you have an account yourself, you may add me up.  My account is: sayukiakira.livejournal.com

My First Reading

Right after I bought my first oracle deck, I immediately wanted to try it.  However, there are somethings that need to be considered before conducting a card reading. For one, it requires a great amount of concentration thus, it is recommended to perform it in quiet areas (preferably with candles).  I was still in the mall at that time which isn't exactly the best place to conduct a reading.  But being as excited as I was with my newly-acquired item, I somehow disregarded that predicament.  And so, my feet took me to my favorite crepe shop, Cafe Breton, which in my opinion has the best crepe in town. *coughs.shamelessplug.coughs*.

Another thing to take into account for during card reading is, the reader should neither be starving nor bloated.  Just to be sure, I ordered something light to eat.  After the sumptuous meal and a little rest, I eagerly unwrapped my Oracle of Shadows and Light.

The very first thing that welcomes you when opening the box is a guidebook, underneath is the 45-card set.  Having little to no knowledge about card reading, it is only but wise to read through the guide first.  I learned that the book teaches variety of spreads though, eventually you can make a spread of your own.  I have a feeling that it’s still a long way for me to get to that level, so I’d rather stick to the guide for now.  On a side note, a spread is what you call the different card reading formations.

For starters, I wanted to start with some light reading, a beginner shouldn’t be too ambitious after all.  And guess what? It so happened that there was a perfect opportunity for me to consult my deck on that very same day.  You see, there’s this denim jacket that I’ve spotted while window shopping.  I was hesitant on buying it because of some constraints in the budget department.  This led me to seek -- for the very first time -- the advise of my oracle deck.  Lo and behold, here’s what the cards have told:

First Card (center)

The center card gives you more information on the problem/question.  My question was: Should I buy the denim jacket or not?  

The card I picked was the Mend-a-Broken-Heart Fairy Card.  This fairy comes along to tell you that whenever you feel down or brokenhearted — doesn’t have to necessarily be romantically —, don’t ever forget to treat yourself.  In a sense, that is exactly how I was feeling at that time.  It breaks my heart to be torn about buying that very nice piece of clothing.  And my problem was I wanted to “mend” that “broken heart” by giving myself a treat, a pretty little jacket.

Second Card (left)

The left card explains why am I facing such predicament.  

I picked the Storm Angel Card, it’s the very same angel you see on the guidebook cover.  This fierce-looking angel shows up whenever disorder arises.  It could be an argument with someone but in my case, it’s within myself.  The debate on whether to make the purchase or not is still on going.  But this angel wants me to speak the truth and the truth is that, I really want the jacket but it'll surely cost me an arm and a leg.

Third Card (right)

On the right hand side is the consequence card.  It tells you what could possible happen should I not heed the card’s advice. 

The Faceless Ghosts and the Haunted Girl appeared as the third card.  Maybe it’s telling me that if I don’t make the purchase at that time, it’ll come haunting me in the form of regret.  It could also mean that history could repeat itself when I postponed my buying of this beautiful pair of oxford shoes.  It was gone by the time I was finally decided on buying it to think that only hours had passed before I finally made up my mind.  That experience was heart-rendering and I still feel sorry about missing the opportunity of buying it  up until today.

Fourth Card (bottom)

Located at the bottom of the spread, the card that gives you a better insight helping you to decide will be the fourth card. 

The Carnivorous Flower Fairy Card warns that whatever it is that I want is very tempting but it comes with in a high price.  And yes, sadly, it does come with a high price… literally a high price.  The card literally tells me that nothing comes for free, especially when it’s as nice and pretty as a denim jacket.  Boy, these cards are cheeky indeed.

Fifth Card (top)

Finally, we reach the end result.  The fifth card on top talks about the action/decision that I should take/follow.

Ironically, the Candy Cane Angel Card showed up.  After warning me how expensive it’s gonna be, it’s now telling me to actually buy it.  Yes, when the Candy Cane Angel shows up, it tells you that there’s nothing wrong if you indulge yourself every now and then so long as you don’t go overboard.  Hence, I should pull the trigger and give myself a helluva treat.

…And damn sure I did~! 

Oracle of Shadows and Light

photo grabbed from Amazon

Divination has many facets. But for now, I’d like to focus on one particular practice called Cartomancy.  Cartomancy, or card reading as it’s more popularly known, is one of the oldest form of divination.  Cartomancers commonly use a 52-card deck playing card or the 32-card piquet set that originated from France around 18th, 19th, and 20th century.  But here in this blog, we’re going to use a more recent deck of cards.

We’ve already established the fact that the focal of my blog is about my adventures (or misadventures) as an amateur cartomancer using my first ever oracle deck, the Oracle of Shadows and Light.  This stylish 45-card deck was authored by Lucy Cavendish.  The haunting yet enigmatic artwork of Jasmine Becket-Griffith was the very first thing that caught my attention.  I debated within myself whether I should buy this deck.  I never delved into divination my entire life after all, part of me was skeptic even.  But can you refuse these beautiful quirky magical messengers?

Don’t confuse this deck as a tarot deck which is common for those who are unfamiliar.  There are other types of card used in Cartomancy apart from tarot, take the above-mentioned playing cards as an example.  Tarot is a form of oracle that has developed a more formal structure over time.

I know my blog may sound occultic and all.  I understand that not all of us are such huge fans of the said practice.  Some find these kinds of things sketchy and illogical.  But isn’t this what it’s all about? — Dealing with the occult and unknown? One more thing before I begin my quest, you are sorely mistaken if you think I’m doing this to change your belief or try and convince you with my shiz, that is simply not my intention.  Don’t take this the wrong way, I’m only doing this for the sole purpose of self-gratification.

To Divinity and Beyond

I figured that I can’t carry on with my original plan since my muses seemed to have gone to a far off place and never returned.  And so, I’ve come up with a totally different concept though, I’m keeping the original name of my blog, The Lady and Shinigami.

My new blog will revolve around divination.  You see, four days ago, fate must have led me to this oracle deck called Oracle of Shadows and Light by Lucy Cavendish.  The quirky artwork was the first thing that caught my attention.  The graphic representation was haunting, yet so beautiful and enigmatic.  I was drawn to it, you can probably say that I fell in love with it hence, I decided to buy it.  More about the deck later on.

The guidebook suggests that I should write my readings in a journal to keep track and recognize a pattern.  And then it hit me.  Why not make this as the center of my blog?  I think it’s a creeptacular idea, wouldn’t you agree?

I am on my path to Divination.  You are more than welcome to follow me on my journey.  I promise you no harm and I shall tell you no lies…